I wish i was sleep n never wake up . . .

Hello, i'm back...
But still cant update wat i wan coz using ipad,
I got something big to update, hmm. . . How was me?
Hmm. . . I dont know, i feel like, hmm. . . Empty, doesnt feel anything, no one can full my emptiness in my heart, now i still at usj, take care my beloved mom,
Hmm, i feel like tears down u know? Why?
Hmm . . . I'll update it soon. . . When i get my laptop back,
Haishh, already 3 month n the half cant sleep, something disturbing my mind. . .
Hmm . . . Keep pretending nothing happen, just to make my mom didnt worry, but its make me dying slowly, really hurt . . .
U know wat? To be honest. . . I still love her, -.-
And i damn miss her, hmm . . .did she know?
No, n if know pun, she wont even care, she already throw me from her life, i wish
I was heartless, n i hope someday i gt into accident then lost all memory about her, coz its really killing me, everyday, i waiting for any hope, even if it just a big as apple, i still will take tat ope n try again, but now i'm hopeless. . .
Why she did this to me? I also dont know. . . Everything tat i do she will think negatively, i'm the one bad guy. . . I'm the one mr.wrong. . .
Day by day past, but i feel like i'm stuck in here, cant move or ask for help. . .
Nothing can i do about it, coz this is life . . .

Small hope better then non . . .
Give me chance n hope, i'll prove to u . . .
Bye~